Just Another Pig Story...if you are not laughing by the 5th paragraph...read it out loud. It was written to READ ALOUD.
It is a silly little story. Enjoy.
Slyke knew about pigs. You name it and Jon Slyke knew it. He was an expert, about swine. When your father is a hog farmer, like Jon's, then you live or die by the swine.
"Ol' Nellie will probably have that litter tonight, son. There's a storm abrewin' anya know how that affects 'em."
"Yeah, dad." Jon replied with a tired sigh. "I'll spend the night with her." Under his breath Jon Slyke cursed the barometer. Whenever the air pressure dropped quickly, and a storm moved in, his dad became concerned about any 'expecting' sows. Many times his concern was unnecessary and the sow was still 'expecting' after the storm passed. But Jon Slyke was silent. He knew what his father would say if he complained.
"But odds don't matter none, son." He would say to Jon. "It's the unplanned happenin's that hurt and haunt ya. I can't afford for anything to happen to Ol' Nellie's litter. She barely pays for her corn now. An' you remember, son, the time Ginny Mae......" And then the tragic story of the prized sow and her expected litter would follow. Jon wished his ears would leap off his head and fall to the ground.
Ginny Mae was named after the Government National Mortgage Association, aka Ginnie Mae. Jon's older brother, Jack, had named her when she was entered in the Fair. Jack was a semi-successful real estate agent. He neither starved nor made a good living. But everyone had to admit Jack was clever with pig names.
Jack reasoned that Ginny Mae and her lineage of fine swine would carry his dad's farm through hard times. Her genetically superior piglet contributions would maintain their value, better than ordinary hogs, through good times as well as bad. According to Jack, Ginny Mae would produce a piglet portfolio of peerless proportion. Jack felt Ginny Mae would be the top show pig attraction at the Fair.
And she was. She was an attraction everywhere.
Ginny Mae had six white stripes and one black stripe across her light brown back. Jon thought the zebra-striped pig was merely a freak. But Jack was right. People flocked to see the unusual swine. Ginnie Mae even made the cover of Hog Today and Sow Now magazines. Jack was ecstatic! Jon thought she looked like pork.
Jon merely concluded people like to look at freak pigs. But as far as valuable, Jon had to deny Ginny Mae. Being obsessively practical, Jon felt pigs were for eating and providing offspring to be eaten....not for photographs. Not for prancing around like prissy princesses.
Since Ginny Mae was the only known pig to have zebra-stripes, Jack claimed her offspring would fetch a high price. As she was pampered into adulthood, the Slykes' search for a suitable swine mate took on an earnest tone. None were found for the pig princess.
The problem solved itself, however. Actually Ginny Mae took sole charge of the serious suiter situation.
Ginny Mae was housed above the other swine. Alone in her plush pig penthouse she evolved a peculiar plan. When the time came for her to mate, she began the search herself. She escaped one day, exiting the pig penthouse by way of the pork platform. None of the other pigs purported to rat her out. They were just glad to see her plump posterior waddling away over the hill.
For a week there was no sign found of the famous show pig. The Slyke family was heartbroken. Apparently, someone had stolen the striped hog. Never would one conceive she would abandon such a posh pig palace for the bare open road. But a week after her disappearance Ginny Mae wandered back home. The Slyke family was overjoyed.
To this day nobody knows exactly where Ginny Mae spent the anxious seven day jaunt, except that she returned pregnant. Of course, it was a while before anyone knew of her condition. Everyone was so happy just to have her back in the fold, that nobody noticed her sly satisfied smile.
The Slyke family celebrated Ginny Mae's return with fireworks and banquetting. Mr. Slyke called the authorities to put an end to the pignapping investigation. The insurance claim was dropped when a vet check showed no obvious defects in the swine. The newspaper sent a reporter and photographer to the Slyke farm and for the eighth day in a row Ginny Mae made the front page. The headline read, " Slyke Swine Fine."
Which, of course, was happier than the headlines telling of her disappearance, "Slyke's Stripped of Striped Swine." "Show Pig on the Lamb or Bacon in the Sun?" "No Sign of Swiped Swine."
The tragedy of Ginny Mae was yet to come, however. After a time Mr. Slyke suspected and it was confirmed by the vet, Dr. Vincent, Ginny Mae was with piglet. She was removed from the show circuit, to reduce her stress. But Ginny Mae's popularity did not wane. Suspense mounted as everyone wondered what color the litter would be.
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