I appreciate the way this cartoon (CREDITS to DEAN JACKSON) illustrates the situation when growth happens to us and yet our friends/relatives/colleagues stay the same. It is not that we intend to cause problems or discomfort. It is not even a choice to grow many times. It is a "happening." Wings just sprout....and there is no stuffing them back inside the cocoon.
What we do have is: A choice about our course after the growth.
Do we hang with the crawling caterpillars who make us feel guilt and shame for the new wings? Or maybe they don't criticize our changing, but celebrate our wings with us - how can we move away from such love and loyalty as that?
Do we fly and see if there are more new butterflies like us somewhere? ?? Do we wait with the caterpillars and hope for their wings to soon appear? Do we both fly and hang near the ground?
Does the wind grab us and remove us anyways?
Do we take a hatchet to our wings?
It is a dilemma everyone faces at some point in life...often many times.
I doubt the Race has changed much in thousands of years, the Earth spins and we just get older as we run the Human Race upon it.
And funny, how I just quickly assumed the butterfly role...I have also been the caterpillar.
In fact, MANY times I have played the role of caterpillar and been left behind. I have made butterflies feel badly for flying when I could not or would not. I have also celebrated people growing wings, and then they flew away from me and I cried.
Well, here are my thoughts about it,
in verse format:
The Human Race…And Love.
Butterflies, Caterpillars, and Cocoons.
A hard Race we run together.
Sometimes in person,
Yet often apart.
I can honestly tell you,
Not one of you,
As we have ran this Race together,
For a day or a decade,
A moment, a minute, or a month,
Have I ceased to love.
Even life dividing and sifting us,
As gravity imprisons us to earth
Or as the wind tosses us about wildly
If ever once I loved you,
You still own a marker in my heart.
I may not see you,
Nor hear your voice
Maybe not even understand you anymore.
My mind may dim with age.
My limbs wilting and faltering more and more.
Still I love you from time we shared in this very hard Race.
The heart is an eternal container,
Holding the one thing which only ages,
As it never goes away.
Every other item may change,
All may fall apart.
But hidden somewhere is that love,
Have no doubt,
remaining within my heart.
Journal Entry (Pink One) 7-20-2014....
"So why write today? Because I began the day in a very comfortable place. I wanted to share with my friends and loved ones.
I wanted to lay down enough breadcrumbs so that everyone who read about where I was could get there...if they wanted to get there.
AND LATER..when I have forgotten the way there myself...I can read this and find my way there again also.
Breadcrumbs.....In the Pre-Dawn stillness I sometimes stand in the wet grass as the tiny birds rustle about in the bushes. As they tune up their voices to begin their morning songs. The cool breeze gently waves the worn summer leaves, leaves which are happy for rest before the hot day that comes.
I am exceedingly joyous just to breathe, like the leaves....in this moment, forgetful to all the rest of the world and its sorrow."
....following the MH17 Crash News of 7-19-2014
Today January 7, 2016...I note:
Sometimes although the world seems to be flinging itself apart....you feel GREAT! JOYOUS! HAPPY! ....and then you feel guilt. Because although you are sad for the people who are hurting, you still feel good too.
And then you write about you joy, or paint a representation of your emotions, or catch yourself singing a silly song....and feel doubly awful. How dare you be so happy at this time!
But, that is the way it is. You have too much joy to contain...it splashes out. Bubbling joy is messy. :)
And when the news every day is Bad, Bad, and More Bad...the joy inside of you just surges up anyways...you feel so inappropriate, even ashamed. Why?....I don't know really.
Even during tragic times - we need a little happiness. Hope really does spring eternal. If a volcano cannot contain its lava, and a mountain spring its water....why should we expect ourselves to successfully cap off our hopes and joy?
Anyways, when joy expands and explodes from within you -
you are no match....it is coming out if it has to rip a hole!
Perhaps a perspective change is warranted.....
People need to hear joy. Read joy. See joy.
Maybe they can draw a little of your joy like water from a well in the desert. Few complain of cool water in the desert.
Share your joy. Your well may never overcome the surrounding dryness....but it may supply for those who need a sip now and then. It may provide a brief rest for someone.
An oasis is a pleasant thing that is not overcome by its surroundings. Be an oasis, if you must. You cannot help it anyways.
Have a great day everyone. :)
And some joy.
Sometimes ideas strike a person's mind like 20 fat cows squishing together through a 10-foot gate opening.
Hopefully your gate posts hold secure. Hopefully no innocent bystander is pinched in the way. It is an "all at once" impossible deal, the fat cows won't all fit and something is going to give.
The best thing for others to do is stand way back and enjoy the crash as it unfolds. Never stand in the path of cow-power, they will plow you. Find a fence to climb and sit a bit.
As the 'rush of cow' hits the space, there occurs a distinct moment of pressure pausing. The far left and far right cows hang between shoulders and bulging bellies onto the fortified gate posts - and rattle them fiercely. The whole cow line - belly to belly, side by side, flexes forward. Slowing, Slowing. It almost looks as if the clear air stops them, but it is the side width binding as they catch each other fur on fur...almost like velcro.
...and when the four times more-cow-than-space do not fit into that same 'tiny' space...
Be aware, a bunch of beef is about to blow back!
Seems there should be some cool sound effect like an enormous stress ball being squeezed and released as this happens. But there is none. That is unless either of the gate posts break - then after the 'snap!' the noise is akin to a single scream from Pandora's Box followed by the deep sounds of silence.
If you hear that...just run and hope for the best.
Today the gate posts hold true... Whew!
As the gate posts stand firm, and the rubbery pressure-push of the moving beef line meets the point of "no cow going through"....the feet-times-four step to a stop. The cows' side-by-side line bows backward. The line then breaks as some continue in reverse, some spin, others pause, and then one or two lunge will back forward through the opening.
And then the others flood through the open space randomly, like clumping rice grains rolling and bumping through a funnel.
Days like this my mind stutters and sputters ideas....like so many fat cows. These are hard and very good days.
Rich days full of fat cows and open gates.
I just hope the cows are headed into the corral....not to the open field or brush where they are sure to graze away to somewhere before I can catch them.
Have a good day everyone.
The acorn of a great oak tree is an entire oak tree inside a tiny shell.
We HUMANS hold to life like so many acorns growing into sprouts and trees….
The entirety of DNA within the shell of the acorn.…given time and nourishment will produce an oak tree. An oak tree acorn replicates the DNA it is given…it will never become a different kind of tree.
An acorn placed inside of a glass bottle, watered and given sunlight will sprout. That seedling will grow. It will fill the glass bottle over time with the spouting mass. It’s shape will form and deform to the parameters of its clear prison. And at some point the “nourished yet bound” will either shatter the glass or retreat to rot and die.
An acorn in the ground, chopped by the mower over and over will either give up and perish young or wax stubborn and continue to grow hidden roots. The “resilient chopped” will live in the darkness of the earth until given opportunity to thrive above…..and then will grow faster than otherwise from the strength it has prepared in the darkness.
A sprout left untrimmed will branch in every direction and give its strength to its girth rather than its height. The “unruly sprout” serves well as brush and hedging, but never will be exalted for its lumber.
The “managed sprout” is able to grow, nourished and protected. The Arborist trims the managed sprout as needed, it will grow straight and tall. Birds will build nests in the strong high limbs. It will shade the growing of lesser trees that compete for status. Those which resiliently rise with it will mingle and intertwine their branches, accommodating and sharing spaces between them. And it will shield the shade-loving trees which thrive in its shadow and serve to protect its roots.
An acorn buried in clay will crack the clay if the clay dries around it and becomes unyielding. The life in the acorn will draw water and sustenance from the very clay it will someday break to pieces.
An arborist may graft into the oak the limbs of another tree. The oak will adopt and adapt, merging with "those grafted in" and provide nourishment through its roots to them all of its long life. The adopted become as if they were the oak's own limbs. They become its own limbs.
Even bearing fruits by them and through them, fruits other than acorns.
We can learn a lot about ourselves from oak trees.
The acorn of a great oak tree is an entire oak tree inside a tiny shell.
We HUMANS hold to life like so many acorns growing into sprouts and trees….
"And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought. And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking. After that he put his hands again upon his eyes, and made him look up: and he was restored, and saw every man clearly." - Mark 8:23-25 KJV
Just Saying…..the king is naked.
Disclaimer: I am not picking anyone. I am not judging the right and/or wrong of these things. I am simply pointing out some observations, just like the child in the story who looked at everyone oooohing and awwwwwing at the naked king’s clothes…. saying in bewilderment, “The king is naked!”
Please do not be offended, unless you just want to be. Of course, be free to do what you want, you are free as I also appreciate being free. I celebrate our freedom to speak, and to agree and disagree. Know that I am not pointing at anyone, only at the general phenomenon developing in our culture itself.
Just Saying….the king is naked when:
The beauty of a woman is defined by actresses, models, and other women, on TV or print publications in full makeup, perfectly tanned and toned with access to touchups and retakes. Oh yeah, some even with surgically enhanced or de-hanced features also.
If only I could add a few inches to MY stature, huh! Then I would be taller.
How do us regular, ordinary, doing-the-best-we-can-with-what-we-have-to-work-with women compete with that? We wake up every morning with no makeup and bed-hair. I am suspect that those setting the standard for beauty have no makeup and bed-hair sometimes too. I just bet they do. What do you really think?
When well, look, it is the same thing with the guys. The men on TV and in print publications that are so “Hot” probably make being and looking “Hot” their full time job. How does the regular Joe working all day to pay the mortgage, car payment, etc…. have the energy or time to tan and muscle up and compete with that standard? And also manage to spend quality time with the wife and kids. And lend a hand to help his neighbor. And all of that stuff he needs or wants to do. ??
When police are not our friends, but are subjects to be taunted, ridiculed and disrespected.
On this topic I think maybe the king has been naked so long that he has forgotten what clothes even looked like.
Same for teachers….when did our culture make them a subject for mockery?
I am not that old and I remember when we said “Yes sir. Yes Ma’am.” And we meant it because they were not only our elders, but held authority.
The king is naked when those who protect us and teach us are disgraced and then the disgrace is celebrated.
Just saying. And although there is more to say about this….I am shutting up….because you either know what I mean and have examples of your own to add….or well, you have already quit reading because you think the king’s clothes are really super cool.
A Girl's Simple Guide to Catching a Gentleman.
1) Know who YOU are....be that person....everyday. Love that person and treat them nice like a friend....everyday.
2) Create in the person YOU ARE great value....work hard, be honorable, think long-term, speak honestly, improve yourself daily.
3) In your dealing with all potential gentlemen....be like a wise monster trophy turkey, let yourself be hunted with a great price so afterward the hunter can strut around and be proud of his catch. Don't just run out there and let yourself be shot. Be seen in the distance between trees, while the other turkeys run around in the foreground...let the hunter see you but wish you would get a little closer before you do get closer. Make him think he is calling you in to him. And know that sometimes you are thinking about this one hunter and another even better hunter takes notice ...and you did not even realize the superior hunter was watching.
4) Do not choose too quickly....let the boys sift themselves out from among the gentlemen. Boys will take shots and run through the foreground turkeys like a tuna eating in a school of 10 million shrimp, watch them and take note....always keep in mind, you are looking for a gentleman...not a silly boy.
5) Determine within yourself ....you do not want to raise a silly boy while you raise your children. It happens everyday....boy meets girl, boy marries girl, girl has 1.3 babies, girl raises babies while silly boy plays all day, girl becomes angry at being the only bluebird working the nest, boy does not know why girl is angry (because he is a silly boy), there is fighting in the nest in the midst of the children...slamming doors-yelling.....results to vary, many not good.
6) Know this truth....although men like to think they are special and unique and have that extra whatever that sweeps us girls off our feet.....the little quiet voice in the back of their minds also says that whatever you do with them, you do with ALL the other guys. Keep that always in mind...seriously, keep it right in the very front of your mind.
7) Seek out the best, strongest pick of the herd...not the wounded one limping slowly at the back. Leave that one for the lions. You want strong children, they need a strong father. Do not settle, if not for your own sake...then for the sake of your 1.3 offspring. You may have to wait for him to get where he needs to be, so do it, wait. But do not settle....the years can drag by like lead weights around your neck if you settle for a lesser boy. The wait for death on the other end of I DO makes the wait before I DO seem like a couple clicks of the second hand on a clock...if you settle. So don't.
And so there you have it...seven easy steps to catch that gentleman of your dreams...and not be scarred, squashed and severed to pieces in the process. :)
Relevance: September is National Suicide Prevention Month....but as winter approaches and the days shorten, our awareness needs to continue..... most of the friends I have lost in this way have been lost in the "shorter" days of the year. I would have encouraged them to still be, but when you stop being it is sadly too late to talk about it. I hope this writing encourages anyone who may be considering not being somewhere, as in “anywhere”, to find hope and help and to hang on tightly to life. Life is precious and priceless, and most of us have lost people…..and so we know how it feels to survive another's "not being". So live as long as you can, as well as you can, and as hard as you can, don't give up. Keep getting up. Keep being.
BEING is Somewhere
It is a cycle.
You live and start over loving again.
This is the play and replay of BEING a human being.
Over and over.
Again and again.
Until, like in the “Velveteen Rabbit”, all your fur is nearly rubbed off.
Unless, for survival sake or other reasoning you cease to love.
Been there and done that, as a matter of fact.
And so what is the end game for putting up that wall of protection and cold un-attachment?
To stop the pain of living and loving?
To eliminate pain or being lovesick or loss-sick ever again?
Ceasing or detaching only adds to the misery.
It is both unproductive and unwise.
Numbing, but not curing.
To live and to love is to endure pain.
But in the end, living and loving are worth it all.
We humans were built to flex and endure.
We change, for we were not built to be static structures.
It is meant for us to descend to the belly of the Earth and to sail into the Heavens above.
But not yet. And not by our own hands.
There are things to do still, and that time comes upon us all anyways soon enough.
But there are things to do now. Today.
One of them is enduring suffering, and one of them is to love again.
So do them.
Not by placing all the pain of an entire season or year (or a lifetime) into a single hour. But by continuing………CONTINUING minute to minute, day by day, year by year. An elephant is a very big creature up close. The farther away it gets, it is still big, but the smaller it appears.
AND we CAN eat the elephant, if we prepare him carefully and chew him up one bite at a time. And so we can endure and arise from loss also….and love and gain again, even more maybe next time. We can walk onward farther from Our Elephant, letting him get smaller in the distance, and taking what we learned from him with us.
DO NOT LET LOSS END YOU.
You are endurable… so continue to continue.
For to love is gain.
And it is painful to grow as a human being.
But we can.
You can. I can.
I have lived my whole life trying to be a human being.
When all I needed to do was to continue.
When all I REALLY needed was to just be a human that was “being”.
And a large part of that “being” we humans were meant to be?
What is it?
This is the key.
It is the loving of others, caring for others, putting others before our selves.
By getting the focus off of our selves, we can more happily be…humans being.
So keep making the cycle.
And as the cycle rotates around again, remember this.
It is NOT…..The End
P.S.: It is a cycle.
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