Why I journal.

Why I journal.
Many times we feel what we do not understand. Life swirls us around, and cracks us like the knotted string on the end of a bullwhip. Or as the blacksmith models steel, Life heats us to red-orange in the fire. Then follows by beating us with the heavy hammer, and a plunge into the cold water. 
That is a part of our Human Race, our journey….and as we grow older and more seasoned maybe we begin to see it as more of a quest. For it is a quest, a quest to become Ourselves. I did not always know that, but now I do.
We grow and are whittled, again and again….formed into what we need to be. And we do not usually know what that is, so it makes it hard for us to see.
Our Maker has purpose in what seems often to us to be madness running wild. He works with intent within us and our lives - this I truly believe. And as with most things a person believes…I have seen it BECAUSE I believe it.
Throughout my life I have sought to write down those feelings I incur during those paradoxical and intense times. It is critical to jot them to paper in the shortly following moments. Because when I fail to record them, I forget their intense edges when attempting to remember them later…until the next time. 
Next Time, when it is too late to help me. Better to have mulched my thoughts beforehand. Too late when I glimpse the sameness, as I am snapped at the end of a cord again. BUT even then, it is another opportunity to get those feelings penned down to a page.
Always it is much better to have written and worked the feelings out beforehand. 
This journaling method has been very helpful, as I try to understand what surrounds and what is within me. It has helped with perspective…not only in bearing the acceleration and snapping, the flip back and silent exhausted fall of a cracked knotted rope end….but in seeing myself from outside of myself as I am moved thusly. 
The whole tapestry of God’s Masterpiece presents differently when you stand far back from it, instead of focusing up close on one individual thread. We are each only a single thread in a Larger Work.
That is why I journal....to find myself in the Tapestry and make sense of it all.